I don't know how many, if any, single people read this blog, but here goes...

From someone who attended a singles retreat last weekend and began brainstorming the top temptations single people have to struggle through when considering a relationship:

#1 – Compromise! Hands down this is the first temptation…and I would argue that it is the girl that deals with this way more than the guy.  She begins wanting “Mr. Right” but will settle for “Mr. Right Now” if she perceives that all of her friends are getting married and she is not.  God has NEVER called His followers to compromise…EVER!!!  (And…ladies…if you are constantly having the defend the guy you are dating, then you know you are compromising.)

AND…ladies…if he is not pursuing you in a godly manner then drop him!

#2 – Believing That Marriage Will Solve The Struggles You Are Facing While Dating! Marriage is a magnifier…and if it is a small deal when you are dating then I promise it will be a BIG HONKIN’ deal when you tie the knot!

#3 – Going Too Fast! Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time!  You need to date someone “until the new wears off!”  If two people are in a hurry to get married then it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person…or because they just want to have sex!

#4 – Trying To Be The Person That The Person They Are Dating Wants Them To Be Rather Than Who They Are – If you are having to lie about who you are to date someone…then you need to break up today!  Ladies…DO NOT SAY you love football and want to go to games with him if you don’t know the difference between the offense and the defense.  Dudes, DO NOT SAY you absolutely LOVE chic flics and want to watch them for hours if doing so drives you crazy!  If you are doing things you HATE to do…but have refused to be honest and tell the other person the truth…then you are being dishonest with them.

#5 – Seeking Advice And/OR Affirmation From The Wrong People! Single people…please, if you want marriage/dating advice…then go to people who are actually married and have been so for a long time!  Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice?  Why would you ask someone who has literally blown through relationship after relationship how to have a relationship?  Because they read a book?  Because they know some Bible verses?  REALLY?  If you want to know how to have a successful relationship…ask those who have one.

What do you think?

Brett McCracken posted a blog recently that has put a pen to some of the feelings I’ve had about church culture over the past few years:

At various times in my evangelical youth group upbringing, I remember looking at youth pastors or church leaders and feeling either endeared (by how nerdy and yet believable they were) or repulsed (by how phony their attempts to be “culturally relevant” often seemed). Looking back, it’s very clear to me that the teachers and leaders I most respected and learned from were not the ones who were trying to be “cool,” but rather the ones who were honest about who they were and willing to learn about who I was.

But I don’t begrudge any youth pastor for trying to be cool. We all try to be cool. We all want to be insiders rather than outsiders. We want to be “in the know” rather than “out of the loop.” It’s a natural human tendency, as basic as our drive to want love or to conquer something. And because the temptation is so constant, it’s easy to take this pursuit-of-cool mindset for granted and not see it for the negative, does-more-harm-than-good endeavor that it often is.

In his lecture "The Inner Ring," delivered to university students in 1944, C.S. Lewis described this pursuit of cool as being the desire to be in the “inner ring.” He spoke about the dangers of letting ourselves fall prey to the allure of the "inner ring" for the sake of being an insider, noting that "in many men's lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside."

It's not that what's inside of inner rings is necessarily bad, Lewis is careful to point out. Rather, the problem is that the inner ring desire is often not as much for the good things that made the inner ring cool in the first place, but rather for the "delicious sense of secret intimacy" that comes with being on the inside.

Unfortunately, this motivation—to be an "inner ringer"—is widespread in the evangelical church today. Even in sleeply little Windsor!  So many pastors, youth pastors, and church leaders are terrified of being excluded or left behind. They want to be relevant. Do they have the right music on their iPods? Do they keep up with shows like Mad Men? Do they own the right shoes? It’s so often just a game of catch up, of frantically maneuvering to be in the inner rings of culture and fashion rather than the dreaded periphery, where no 15-year-old churchgoer would ever be attracted, right?

I am clearly not a wannabe cool pastor, but I do want our church ministries to be real, relevant, authentic, and effective in introducing people to Jesus.  That, to me, is far more important than coolness or being part of the inner ring. 

One of my challenges as a pastor is to isolate the positive lessons that can be learned from negative experiences.

Isaiah 41:10 says, “Don't panic. I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength. I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you” (The Message).

In the late 1980s, Stephen Adams was assistant city editor for a newspaper that was experiencing major upheavals in management. In the process he received a pay cut and was assigned to a night shift in a dead-end position. Every night he would come home to a darkened house where dinner had been eaten, bedtime stories read, and prayers said without Dad.

For nearly two years he searched fruitlessly for another newspaper job. Stephen eventually took a job in public relations, which meant turning his back on a 20-year newspaper career.

Six years later, two of the guys at this company were called in on a Monday morning and told their services were no longer needed. Stephen was shocked and shattered. Just 15 months earlier, he and his wife had lost a child—a newborn son, who lived only two weeks.

“I can say, however, that some of these experiences were blessings in disguise for the fruit they produced in my life,” Stephen writes in Back to Work.

“It became clear that my priorities needed adjusting so that my career was not such a huge idol in my life. [And] I used those lonely hours in a dark house when I came home from work as an opportunity to write fiction, which eventually turned into my first book, October Holiday.”

What positive lessons can I learn from negative experiences this week, Lord?

When expectations rule your life and your relationship...you need to see this.

Ten reasons why I thoroughly enjoyed the services at Heritage Park today?

#1.  I got to sit with my wife and our daughter Jamie in the 9am service.  Jamie was smiling from ear to ear with the music!  Heaven was closer today because of her.

#2.  Cliff Cline is a friend who lives in Burlington and he led worship today as our guest artist.  Did a great job.  Thanks, Cliff.  This is getting to be a habit (See you next summer)!

#3.  Mark brought glory to the Father today by extolling the Cross and exalting Jesus Christ as the Way, the Truth, and the Life for everyone.  His message reminded me (again) that we have some good teachers on our staff, and they get better and better...

#4.  I met some new people who told me why this church is the place to be!  It was encouraging to hear more newcomers speak so positively about their experience here!

#5.  Some things never change - nor should they.  The gospel.  Love.  Welcoming new people warmly.  Rick VG's warm smile and encouraging words.  Ushers who love to usher.  Greeters who love to greet.  Preachers who love to preach...

#6.  Little ones who wrap their arms around my legs - not because they mistake me for "dad" but because they are happy to see me.  Does it get any better?

#7.  Knowing that Jesus Christ is the Head of this church and the only One who can nurture a body that will become a loving community of fully devoted followers.

#8.  Talking to a young dad who has been married for 15 years, and he's taking his bride on a cruise for their anniversary.  He's excited and eager to honour his wife.  How awesome!  Having couples and families like that in our church is such a blessing.

#9.  Watching the audience during worship (from the back of the Worship Centre for a change!).  I love seeing men and women of all ages raising their hands in worship.  Inspiring...

#10.  Praying with a woman who wanted to be filled with the Holy Spirit.  We prayed, and she was.  God is good.

Embrace it. Accept it. Don’t resist it. Change is not only a part of life; change is a necessary part of God’s strategy. To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments. Gideon: from farmer to general; Mary: from peasant girl to the mother of Christ; Paul: from local rabbi to world evangelist. God transitioned Joseph from a baby brother to an Egyptian prince. He changed David from a a shepherd to a king. Peter wanted to fish the Sea of Galilee. God called him to lead the first church. God makes reassignments.

What is joy?  One person called it “the echo of God’s life within.”  C. S. Lewis made an important distinction in separating joy from happiness or pleasure.  Happiness comes as a result of favorable external circumstances. Pleasure comes as the result of having a bodily appetite fulfilled.  Both are legitimate and have an appropriate place in the Christian’s life.

But joy is different from these two, I believe.  It’s wholly independent of external circumstances or bodily enjoyment.  It’s the indescribable enjoyment of the living, breathing presence of God. “In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).  I call it indescribable because it’s a kind of happiness that defies explaining to someone who has never tasted it.  But it’s also a kind of happiness that outstrips happiness or pleasure.  It’s a cleaner, stronger, deeper happiness than the others.

I’m convinced that many of God’s children think they are experiencing joy when it’s really just happiness or pleasure.  I’m also convinced that there are oceans of joy that we all have yet to taste; in fact eternity will be spent doing just that.

Just about every time Patty and I get away by ourselves for a few days our daughter Jamie experiences challenges to her health.

This week Patty and I are in Florida celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary and Jamie is congested.  Grandma is taking her temperature every hour.  When Jamies gets sick, she goes from "cold" to "pneumonia" in about 30 seconds flat!  Seriously, she gets very sick very fast, and that always concerns us.  So, I'm selfishly using my blog to ask for a prayer covering.  We are asking friends and family to pray for us and pray for Jamie, especially, and for the caregivers at home with her.  Thank you.

Your sin has been dealt with. Your Father has removed it from you "as far as the east is from the west" (Ps. 103:12). Your sins have been washed away (1 Cor. 6:11). When God looks at you he does not see your sin. He has not one condemning thought toward you (Rom. 8:1). But that's not all. You have a new heart. That's the promise of the new covenant: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws" (Ezek. 36:26 -27). There's a reason that it's called good news.

Too many believers in Jesus today are living in the past.  They've had Jeremiah 17:9 drilled into them and they walk around believing their heart is deceitfully wicked. Not anymore it's not. Read the rest of the book. In Jeremiah 31:33, God announces the cure for all that: "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people." I will give you a new heart. Sin is not the deepest thing about us.  As redeemed people and blood-bought believers, we still experience temptation, and we still fall into sin, but it's not the thing that defines us.  We have new hearts!

What God sees when he sees you is the real you, the true you, the man or woman he had in mind when he made you.

I have enjoyed my time at MBC (Muskoka Bible Centre) this week.  Preaching through Habakkuk again has been a blast.  It's 2600 years old, but the content is as current as yesterday's headlines, and I never get tired of it.  And the Lord has used the message and the ministry in worship to touch a lot of people here.  Last night I concluded the teaching on Habakkuk, and tonight is our last speaking engagement.  Patty and I plan to share the spotlight tonight when we talk about Living With a Broken Dream. 

After speaking here for a week, I appreciate our church at home even more.  The folks here are great, but they come from all over the place, and they are not a church.  They form part of "the" church, but they are not from "my" church, if you know what I mean, and I really miss the family atmosphere of our Heritage Park Church family. 

I'm rediscovering...

• how much I rely on feedback while I'm speaking.  I like having some response (nodding heads, smiles, "amens").
• how the right songs can set up the message and make it very easy to preach.
• the value of prayer before and during each and every service!
• that no matter how many times I have preached a particular sermon, I need to edit and change and tweak it for the specific audience I'm giving it to.
• the critical nature of excellent childcare during the service so moms and dads can relax, be refreshed, and get the spiritual food they need to keep growing their families in the right direction.
• the contribution of nature to a fuller expression of love for God.

[ Older Posts ]